People tell me to….

People tell me I should learn to say the word no. 

So I do.

I tell myself it is a complete sentence that does not require explanation.

I form the word and then I say it.

But no one listens.

People tell me I should give my opinion.

So I do.

I consider my stance, weigh out the pros and cons as I see them. Then I formulate my reply and verbalise it.

But no one listens.

I wonder sometimes what the point is. What’s the point of saying no, or giving opinions when neither of them are going to be taken into consideration.

Strong and confident people would be listened to, they would make themselves heard.

Me, people just chalk it down to my anxieties, spinning my reasoning away and replacing it with their own.

No one seems to take into account that often my utterance of the word no or my considered opinions are nothing to do with my anxiteies. Sometimes I actually have good reasons or ideas.

It would be nice if people took the time to hear them.

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4 thoughts on “People tell me to….

  1. Its frustrating isn’t when no one listens, doubly so when you are asked for an opinion and what you say falls on deaf ears. You just have to keep trying and not let them drag you down, believe you have opinions that are worth expressing mainly because you know you are right..

    Liked by 1 person

    • One of my goals when I attended counselling was to try to learn to be heard and effectively put my point across. While I learnt tips, I clearly have some way to go 🙂
      What irks me though, is that the people who put me in the above positions know that what I am like are are the people telling me to say no! Lol

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve never had a problem with expressing myself – in fact, I’ve been called “too much” of …. insert any descriptive – but for all of it – I too am never “heard” or listened to – and it’s not even a question of “right and wrong” or “ha! “told you so” …. it’s just never actually being truly heard, – but then, most people, when they say, “what do you think?” – especially if it’s a thought they want to know about, in relation to something of themselves, or a “problem” they need to figure out – AREN’T actually looking for an outside idea, or opinion, – which they can then consider, and use or not, as part of what they might need to figure out the situation – what they are really wanting is a “yes man” – or, in this case, your case, woman – they want someone to simply agree with them, to validate their ideas …. but they are too “cowardly” to openly say so, as in: this is what I think, know or believe and I’m going to follow through, blah blah blah …. most often because they don’t actually want to be “fully responsible” for themselves.

    It’s really a double edged sword.

    We all have moments of self-doubt, anxiety, fear – and we all have, from time to time, used this type of behaviour and technique to “feel things out” – but honestly, listening and hearing – they’re not exactly the same thing – and honestly, no matter how you say it, paint it, or whatever – No – it means no. And it doesn’t require an explanation or expansive discourse – and damn it – if you didn’t want to know, then don’t bloody well ask!

    So, NO – the problem isn’t you – and anyone who constantly pushes your buttons this way, and then assumes or dismisses your “non-heard” and “non-accepted” answers, is simply trying to invalidate, dismiss and keep you “neatly and safely” labeled, for THEIR “comfort” – it’s NOT you my friend, it actually is THEM – they’re the ones “at fault” – don’t ever forget it. You have a right to your thoughts, ideas and experiences, and opinions, and if they aren’t to someone’s understanding, or liking? It doesn’t mean you are “less than.” – don’t ever forget that

    (((((((((((Maddie)))))))))

    Like

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